The Generally Ridiculous Exam

I took a practice GRE this morning.

I would like to rename a few of the sections to better inform the test-taker of the types of questions to be expected. I found the title "Reading Comprehension" not quite descriptive enough. I suggest the title "Are you smart enough to interpret an inane, halting, and poorly-written passage?". Maybe this really is a more accurate portrayal of one's intelligence. I mean, anyone can get the gist of a well-written paragraph, right? Maybe not-so-smart people can't extract any sense from poor writing, whereas smart people can come up with something. I hate to admit that they stumped me more often than not. But could there be a more painful way to test one's comprehension ability?!?

(As a side note, my vocab ego got bumped down a few notches when I couldn't identify whether or not "tonsorial" and "hair" shared the same relationship as "sartorial" and "apparel." They do.)

I also have an improvement for the section entitled "Problem Solving." I suggest the title "How many steps can we add to a problem before you give up and guess?" An example of what would follow:

Question1- Find the percent difference of Section X and Section Y in Graph A. Now multiply the percent by the total to get the actual number. Now find the ratio of this number to the number given in Graph B. But numbers aren't given in graph B, only percents, so you have to work out the numbers, given the percent difference between the two graphs.You have a minute and a half. Go!

Lovely! So have I told you how not-excited I am to take this thing tomorrow? But at least I won't ever have to do it again. No, not even if I bomb it tomorrow. I've decided that if I make a bad grade tomorrow, I'm going to move to Italy, become a tour guide, and make books in my spare time.

Immediacy: no delay

A few weeks ago, Grandmother asked me if I appreciated immediacy. I didn't understand what she was asking (is that a common way to use the word "immediacy" anyway?). But then she held up a scrap of paper, maybe it was even a napkin, not sure, and said, "This is what I wrote when your mother called to tell me about your birth." The paper had my name written on it, how many pounds I weighed, and the time I was born. I don't know if she had saved it purposefully or on accident, but she still had the paper she had written all my details on when I was born!

I'm not sure if I'd ever consciously labeled my appreciation of certain old things as an appreciation of immediacy (I'm also not sure if anyone but my grandmother uses that word that way), but I realized that is what I love about so many old things. Dressing up in the dress my mom wore to her rehearsal dinner. Walking down the street where Dante lived in Florence. Going to Civil War battlefields. Somehow, just being near something that was around when something historic happened makes one feel a little connected. Or at least it makes me feel that way. It's like it takes away the huge time delay that separates you from it.

Something cool I learned recently concerns this idea, as well. The hymn "Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel" is an original Byzantine hymn. The words and music and all! That's why it sounds like an old monastic chant. Because it is. How amazing is that! We are singing the same hymn people sang 1200 years ago! What!? I love that!
(Just fyi, this information comes from Byron, who often shares random and little-known facts, so I can't tell you exactly where you could find this info in print :) But I believe him.)